[ she's 200% sure that her devil's deal with the flower in her body can't be cured. that would be far too easy. the flower is going to be there, whether she likes it or not, she's already resigned to it and as annoying as hell as it is to have it in her eye and in her system and everything else, it's more of a pain in the ass to have hope that she could get rid of it. so she just goes with her usual plan, which is to kill things. there's a method to the madness of killing things, but the most important thing is killing things, as many and as brutally as possible.
she hears about the miracle doctor in the foreign bamboo forest and thinks it must be so much bullshit, but her naive stupid dragon insists that it's worth a try and investigation and even after beating him up, he still protests and grabs her and flies her there.
so here she is, in the clinic, waiting to be seen.
and then this rabbit girl walks in and everything seems to slow to a stop, like in those ridiculous slow-motion sequences in the movies, if she knew what a movie was. she's still in the castles era. reisen walks in and zero's first thought is "holy shit" and then her second is "what the fuck are those ears" and her third is "i guess i must be bi" because she's fucked too many guys to know she's gay but she instantly forgets about all those dicks, seeing this rabbit girl walk in looking gorgeous and fuckable.
forget the doctor. ] Hey-- [ she actually has no idea what she's going to try to say, some stupid pick-up line, but she's cut off by a sudden cough. what the hell, she hasn't gotten sick in forever. what's happening to her, she suddenly feels like throwing up. but hurling in front of her new dream girl would be kind of rude, wouldn't it? ]
they've had all sorts of visitors to Eientei, ranging from perfectly average humans to youkai that barely fit through the doorways. none of them particularly stand out enough to make Reisen wary, but this woman with the flower on her face gives off... some sort of vibes, that make Reisen's ears stiffen and twitch.
bad vibes or no, she still has a job to do. she casually avoids eye contact as she sits down opposite of Zero, pretending to read something on her clipboard even though there's nothing on it. it could be a curse, if she had to haphazardly guess. hell, the flower looks like something Yuuka might inflict on someone. goddamn Yuuka.]
Yes, hello. [without thinking twice, she grabs a nearby trash bin and places it between them.] If you need to vomit, do it in there, please.
[ how... nice... it's not being cold, it's being practical. the rabbit girl is as cleanly as she is a beauty. zero is not nearly the type to go starry-eyed or anything, especially since she's already flower-eyed, but wow, she is in love. she can feel her heart picking up, her breath hitch, spiny vines crawling out her throat--
the last one might be less lovesickness and more flower sickness. ]
Y-yeah, I might just... hold on. [ maybe there's no way to do this gracefully, and she's hardly graceful in the first place despite appearances, but anyway.
time to grab the trash can and cough white lunar tears into the bin, spattered with red from thorns cutting into her mouth. throwing up flora in front of the rabbit girl of her dreams. no big deal. ]
[neat! flowers. she leans forward to get a better look at what's going on, noting that they don't look like any species she's seen around Gensokyo. not Yuuka's doing, then. or... well, she still shouldn't be ruled out as a possibility until Reisen gets details.
the cuts in her mouth can easily be fixed with salves, but regurgitating flowers is a completely unfamiliar ailment. Eirin had told Reisen to take care of this patient, since she's busy with something or other, but they don't have any medicines specific to barfing up plants. maybe a generic medicine for stomach problems could work instead. if the thorns are cutting up her insides as well as her mouth, though... maybe she'll need to call Eirin over.
she glances up at the flower where Zero's other eye should be.]
One a scale of one to ten, ten being the most painful, how would you rate your current discomfort?
[ maybe cold is the right word, after all. cold and methodical... zero just grins through a slightly bloody mouth. ] Zero. Come on, this is nothing. I've had a hell of a lot worse, I'd tell you about it but it might even make you hurl.
[ she has the vague awareness that making her new love of her life vomit from queasiness probably isn't the right way to go about things, which is actually more consideration than she'd give to male lovers. she may as well vomit right at guys' feet, feel relatively indifferent towards them if they'd do the same to her, and then climb right on top of them afterwards.
but she cared less about guys than she did reisen, so-- ] Anyway. The important thing is-- [ she wipes blood-stained white petals from the corner of her mouth, looking vaguely nauseous still. ] Hey. I'm Zero.
[gurl... she looks back down to her clipboard and scribbles something down. nothing terribly important, just another excuse to tear her eyes away from this mess and make note of— patient is so hardcore, so badass, feels no pain wow.
that question though. she gives Zero an incredulous look and slowly nods.]
I would hope so, considering I'll be giving you your medicine at the end of this visit, Miss Zero.
[no introduction from raisin bran, too bad. she peers into the trash bin at the bloody flowers, tentatively poking at one with the back of her pen. just normal flowers, then. seemingly normal? well, can't be normal if Zero's barfing them up.]
Have you ingested anything... unusual, recently? Or can you think of any other possible cause to your condition?
I didn't come here for this trash. [ indicating the flowers in the trash--they're quite beautiful, even bloodstained, but she actually has a bias against flowers. ] I have no idea what's going on with that. I came here for this. [ indicating the flower in her socket, while staring reisen straight in the eye with hers.
there may or may not be danger in her going insane, because she might already be there. ]
If I'm contacting another shitty flower disease, that's just my luck. I'm pretty sure I didn't eat anything shady. [ like, uh, rotten meat. but she keeps eye contact with reisen, wetting her lips. ]
[IS THAT A THREAT. she's assuming it's a threat. it's totally a threat, isn't it!! slowly, she leans back in her seat, fingers tightly gripping the edges of her clipboard. most of the humans from the village know better than to eat any of the rabbits around the bamboo forest, but Zero obviously isn't from the village.]
The rabbits here are under protection, you should know. You can't eat them.
[or her. but hopefully that can go unsaid.]
W-well, as for the flower in your... eye, I could try removing it for you.
[ just because she has an appetite for rabbit doesn't mean...! she rolls her one non-cursed eye. ]
I wasn't talking about eating you. Not in that way, anyway. [ what other way could she possibly mean?? and, on second thought-- ] Probably, depending on how hungry I am...
Why don't we forget about the flower? I don't even think you guys can remove it if you tried. Trust me, I've tried. I didn't even feel like coming here for that, I was just flown in here by a dumbass.
What, I just got here and you want me to leave? What happened to your... [ waves hand vaguely, whatever analogue to the hippocratic oath goes here-- ] Your doctors' oath or whatever? Just because I'm skeptical that you guys can fix this doesn't mean you'll leave me here dying of whatever bullshit disease I have, right? [ not that she actually cares, but whatever. ]
Also, I really have no idea what the coughing... flower shit is supposed to be. Honest. That's new.
Hey, what kinda customer service is this? What, it's not allowed to hit on the bunnies? I-- [ another coughing attack, she clutches at her throat in slight alarm.
this attack hits harder than the intial one, her body visible struggles with growth in her throat. she claps a hand over her mouth, however, as if determined not to lose any more dignity in front of reisen than she has to.
creeping vines slip out between her fingers however. that's--grosser than the initial attack. ]
[ugh— she can't just ignore that. goes against policy, or whatever. she rushes to Zero's side and takes her wrist, trying to pry her hand away from her mouth.]
Don't try to hold it all in!
[just barf it out, gurl. even if, yeah, it's pretty gross.]
I'm not-- [ she's probably protesting in reflex, but she lets go of her mouth in something more like surprise when reisen touches her.
that just intensifies the effects of the disease, though. fuck, she's being touched--
she doubles over with a pained noise, clutching at her neck as spiked vines and white flowers grow from her throat out her mouth, spilling out onto the ground--she actually looks a little panicked. can't breathe, with airway restricted by flora. ]
she recoils as more flowers and vines erupt from Zero's mouth, genuinely taken aback. she's never seen anything like this before. Eirin, maybe, she might know what to do, but she isn't even around at the moment.
wonderful!] W-Wait here!
[aaand she's running away. Reisen ran away?! no, she returns quickly with a dusty plastic bottle, and thrusts it at Zero's hands. it's pesticide.
like, actual pesticide. maybe the plants can be killed like normal plants, then it'll be easy to give Zero an antidote to the poisons before they hurt her system... or something.]
[ ... she doesn't actually know what the hell this is supposed to be. bottle... even if it is medicine it might just be difficult to swallow anything with plants in the way.
she does try to drag the trash can back to her, buckles painfully to her knees and doubles over it, grabs a thorned vine from her own throat in an attempt to rip it bodily out because she can't actually breathe. like yanking a spined whip or something from her own mouth, her own bodily--it tears at her mouth and throat, the plant draws out slick with blood but it seems to be narrowing. zero looks like she's struggling not to black out or scream from pain, if screaming would be muffled by flora. ]
[damn, if she keeps doing that her throat's gonna be like ground beef by the time it's over. OKAY THEN, PLAN B, TIME FOR GODMODEY 2HU SHIT.
she grabs Zero by the shoulders and firmly pushes her to the floor (it's not gay if it's an emergency shhh). the vine scratches at Reisen's wrists and arms as she moves her hands to grasp Zero's head, holding her still, practically sitting on top of her. she never really incorporates her abilities in the treatment of patients, but Zero's gonna seriously fuck up her insides if she keeps doing that.]
Look. [into her eyes. calm down!! she can't actually get rid of the pain, but she can trick Zero's brain into thinking it doesn't hurt anymore. like a tranq without the hassle of needles.
once Zero stops struggling, Reisen slowly reaches for the bottle.]
[stranger things have happened and could happen, considering the planet and their circumstances. enough time had passed for NLA to develop past the boundaries of their safe walls and barriers, their metal structures and roads creeping outwards to overtake the wild of Primordia. still, in spite of their steady colonization, there was no way to find a way back into their true, organic forms. humanity remained in their shells, nothing but a collective of consciousnesses in bodies that would never age or decay.
in a way, that came to their advantage. once it became clear that they were somehow autonomous, that their artificial bodies didn't need any energy source for whatever bizarre bullshit reason, they sent a single ship manned by a small crew to a planet charted somewhere near the edge of the galaxy, one of that appeared very similar to the Earth they once knew. then, of course. something went wrong. the ship crashed. a failure in the wirings, or whatever. all but one of the crew was destroyed in the blast upon impact; they would be mourned, of course, but... Irina can't help but feel thankful that the crew she'd been assigned to lead were recruits she barely knew and felt no real attachment to. if it'd been Gwin, or Elma, or Lin, she would've been better off dying with them.
she drags herself away from the smoldering crater with no means of communication back to HQ on Mira, armed only with her assault rifle and a knife at her hip. looks like she'll be stranded here until they realize something's up and send rescue... shit. there aren't any signs of (sentient) life around, but she follows the sounds of crashing waves to a sandy beach. it really does look remarkably like Earth. hell, maybe she's imagining things, but she thinks she might see what looks like a cityline far out on the horizon across the ocean.
it's been a long, long day. Irina collapses on the sand, tightly gripping her assault rifle.
[ she'd survived an airship crash before, but she's zero. she survives a lot of things. she'd watched the floating craft in the sky only with vague interest, then with slightly more when it slowly veers and sinks and smashes into the ground with finality.
sucks to be them.
she probably wouldn't give a shit about a wreck other than wondering if there's interesting loot to be had by scavenging it, but her dragon is her better half and it's mikhail who's more bleeding heart and flies her over to check it out and look for survivors. depending on who the craft belongs to, she may or may not have to murder the survivor herself, which will be fun. that's the nice thing about her own personal mission. people hardly matter to her, other than whether they should die (most of them) or might be worth a fuck (also most of them, but only because she's... pretty indiscriminate).
mikhail is also the one who spots the lone survivor by the beach, but she doesn't even bother to wait for him to land before she's sliding off his back and landing heavily after a long drop, one that surely should kill a normal person. but, she's zero. she kicks up sand, winces at the impact but sticks the landing, brushes sand off her white dress before boredly drawing her sword in irina's direction. ]
Oi, you.
You came from that wreck? [ indicating vaguely in the direction of the smoking crater with the tip of her sword, before pointing it right back at irina. ]
[fucking hell— she scrambles up to her feet, her left knee nearly buckling in the wrong direction. fuckkkk feels like her leg is partially busted, but all their mim repair supplies were lost in that flaming wreckage of their ship. she hoists her rifle up and aims it at Zero, eyes narrowed warningly.
just her luck that they speak a common language, but as human as she looks she's clearly not one of their humans. the excitement and wonder of finding another person's gonna have to come later. or never, depending on how this confrontation turns out.]
Maybe I did. What's it to you?
[she winces. her leg is definitely busted, but she can still stand as long as she doesn't make any sudden movements.]
Oh, I dunno. Maybe I just want to know. [ her eye flickers from irina's weapon to her leg. irina can try to hide it, but that momentary stumble when she'd gotten up gives it away far too obviously. ] Come on, you don't have to wave that thing at me.
[ the cute stranger pointing a gun at her... zero doesn't even look wary. on the contrary, her shitty grin just widens, even as she makes no move to put down her sword. queen of hypocrisy. ]
I kinda do, when you've got a sword pointed at my face.
[the sand beneath her foot slips and Irina stumbles again for a split second before catching herself. goddamnit. it's hard to look like a threat when she's wounded, but at least she has her gun. which... might have actually been damaged in the crash, come to think of it, but Irina hasn't had the chance to test it out yet.
whatever. if worse comes to worst, she still has her knife. Zero's grin definitely has her on edge, and her scowl deepens.]
Tell me what you want and maybe I won't pull the trigger.
Funny, we might as well be wondering the same thing. I'm wondering if I need to finish what the crash didn't and kill you. [ .... actually saying it out loud kind of makes it sound ridiculous, and even she realizes it. ]
Oh, fuck it.
Actually? There's no good reason for you to be alive after all. [ either this survivor is going to die sooner or later, whether it's by her sword or otherwise, or this survivor is actually an innocent. it hardly matters to zero whether she slaughters someone who doesn't deserve it, now that she thinks of it. so, the important thing is, it's time for irina to die.
she lunges forward without any further warning, sword lashing out in a backhanded slash aiming straight at irina's neck, in an arc that would take her head off. ]
[she fires. bullets spray in an arc, somehow completely missing Zero, and Irina only has a split second to pull her gun up in an attempt to block the sword to avoid losing her head.]
Fuck—!
[metal clashes against metal and... more metal. she collapses, clutching her hand and the assault rifle fallen next to her. three fingers are missing— also in the sand beside her, one of them a bit further away, sparks flying from the stumps. Irina grits her teeth, fury almost blinding her, but her fucking fingers goddamnit.]
Shit! What's your goddamn problem?!
[there's blood... that isn't quite blood. from the stumps, an almost translucent blue liquid spurts out and drips down her gloves. her mim is just a mim, it can be fixed and parts can be replaced, but not here. the most she could do is temporarily block feedback to her nervous circuits, and close off the wound before she loses too much biocirculatory plasma, but now she's down to one hand until help arrives. if help arrives. if she can survive before help arrives.
Irina grabs her knife from her belt with her unwounded hand. shit, she really might just die here.]
[ it may or may not have mattered if she'd been hit. whatever the rule is for bringing a sword to a gunfight, she wouldn't care. as far as she's concerned, being hit with a bullet might as well be less crippling than having shit cut off by a blade--
the woman's reflexes aren't bad, to avoid zero's asshole unannounced, unsporting first strike. obviously it's less gratifying to slice off fingers rather than a nice decapitation, but... blue blood is definitely new. her eye widens, just for a blink, before her serial killer grin returns. ]
My problem? Look at you! What's this, there's something wrong with you after all, isn't there? [ a knife is pretty cute, up against her sword. but she loves to see her prey cornered. ]
Do you bleed different colors depending on where I hit? [ almost experimentally, the blade comes back this time to stab at irina's gut. ]
[she's barely able to swipe the incoming sword aside with her knife, but it still cuts through her side. her body armor was built to withstand bullets and blunt attacks from giant alien monsters, not precise cuts made by... whatever the hell this psycho is. Irina grunts and winces in pain as more of that blue plasma leaks from the new wound. leg's busted. three fingers down. might get disemboweled, too. not a really great way to go.
her grip on her knife tightens. if she could get one Screamer attack out, she could put Zero to sleep then get away... or kill her while she's out cold.
Irina's never killed a person before. but if she isn't even a person...]
Who, me? [ actually, that's a decent question. by what measure is a human... in a quieter moment, she might even be a little melancholy over it. now, her grin is rueful, but still sharp as her blade. ]
If neither of us are, does that even make a difference? Especially if you're gonna die. [ the little knife up against her sword, and to an extent irina's practicality up against zero's indiscriminate murderousness... it might be a bad match-up. it might be a fatal one.
she's not exactly enough of an asshole to drag out a kill, but that goes more for humans than not, like irina's reasoning. ]
Want to beg prettily for your life before that happens?
[i am human, she doesn't say, instead opting to silently glare for a moment. she'd already triggered the self-repair mechanism in her mimeosome. it'll take a bit of time, but if she stalls long enough then she could stand, at the very least. the fingers are kind of a lost cause for now, but there's hope for her leg.]
Not really the type to beg. You sound so sure that I'll die, though.
[she isn't bleeding anymore. her arm shifts just slightly to cover the wound in her side, in case Zero notices.]
If you think I traveled across the galaxy just to be killed by some psycho with a sword, think again.
How about if you think I remotely care about wherever the hell you came from, think again?
Come on. We're all gonna die someday. Your day just happens to be today, how lucky for you--! [ and the last word is punctuated by another lunge.
no, she hadn't noticed that irina had stopped bleeding. that kind of healing factor probably should be of interest to her, or maybe it wouldn't be because it hardly matters to her how fast people might recover from bleeding. she'd be far more interested in how quickly it would take for people to start bleeding again, copiously and lethally.
her strike takes her in nice and personal, with a savage stab of her blade straight towards irina's gut, aimed right to the organs that might just hurt the most to humans and anything with close to the same biology. ]
and catches the blade between her palms, stopping it just short of her gut. her fingers— the ones that haven't been cut off— wrap around the edge, but she doesn't seem to care that the blade is cutting into them.
artificial or no, she can't afford to get disemboweled. there aren't any actual organs in there, just a bunch of manufactured things meant to imitate the inner workings of a real human body, but getting ran through would still be extremely unpleasant.
she glares up at Zero, still holding onto the sword with surprising strength.]
That's a good look. [ a determination not to get gutted, as opposed to the slightly manic grin on zero's face, the look of some serial killer who's quite determined to gut her victim. if it comes down to a test of strength between the two of them--
she twists the handle of her blade, trying to cut straight into irina's hand or at least slice off a good chunk of her palm.
[what kind of fuckin stupid alien planet did she land on?? whacko planet with psycho assholes running around killing people. ugh.
still not much unlike Earth, though. if Zero didn't drop from the sky and immediately tried to murder her, Irina might've thought she was home again.
there's a sickening noise as she loses the better half of her one good hand (goddamnit). with her grip lost, the sword drives through its original intended mark— her gut— and Irina's face screws up in pain. but she doesn't scream. she won't give Zero the satisfaction, even if she's on the brink of death and she can't do anything else with both hands mutilated.
but there is some resistance. nothing squishy and slippery like one would expect to be in a person. it's all synthetic stuff, even metal, and other things that Zero's sword meets when she stabs Irina. there's a distinctly electrical crackle. sparks fly up the blade as plasma begins to leak.]
Aw, would you look at that? You're not even human after all.
It wouldn't even count as murder if I killed you. [ that's the takeaway message here after all. victim now handily--hah--defeated, or close to it, she can plunge her blade straight into irina's side with enthusiasm for novelty. cutting people apart almost becomes a chore, when she's on her hell mission like she is. cutting apart something that bleeds blue and sparks electric is a little more interesting--
and then something huge and white lands right on top of her and irina both, slightly crushing them under white scales.
'Zeroooo, what are you doing? I thought you were going to make friends with the survivor!' ]
Are you fucking kidding me, you thought wrong, you complete idiot--
[ but mikhail dragonblocks her murder. for the moment. ]
What the fu— [she doesn't get to finish that thought since a dragon landing on her kinda knocks what little air she had from her lungs, and makes her hack up a good deal of plasma. oh, thanks. excellent. now she won't die from being mutilated by a psycho, she'll die from being crushed by a big talking dragon.
don't mind her, she'll just be lying there and bleeding.]
Yeah— [she coughs up more plasma. it's all over her face and chest now, staining her body armor blue. cool, at least the dragon seems a lot friendlier. a big friendly talking dragon is actually kind of normal compared to the aliens who've come to live in their city, come to think of it.]
It's Irina. And I'm human, you goddamn asshole. [she snarls in Zero's direction.] Not that it'd matter to you, I guess.
[ mikhail grins a big old happy practically doggy rather than draconic grin, tongue lolling out and stained with blue. 'Awww, Zero, I like her! Can't we keep her? None of our other friends bleed blue, let's keep her!' apparently her blue blood is so novel and a perfect reason to recruit into party. ]
Are you fucking kidding me, first of all don't call any of those assholes our 'friends' or I'll puke, second of all I'm gonna puke if you and blue-blood bastard over there don't die immediately right the hell now--
[ mikhail bends his head down towards irina again, cocking his head. 'Don't worry, she says that about everyone! And tries to kill everyone... don't take it personally, okay?' ]
Hey, I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about me like I'm some kinda stray. [pointedly ignoring Zero...... between the murderous psycho and this big dumb friendly dragon, she'd rather address the dragon.
good news, she more or less stopped bleeding already, bad news, her hands are still completely fucked up. she can see her assault rifle not too far away, half-buried in the sand from when Mikhail made his entrance. maybe this is actually a great stroke of luck for her— it's just more time bought until another team is sent to find her.
so if it means playing along with the dragon, okay.]
But sure. I'll join you and your... friends. [is that even the right word??]
[ oh god... this is like the worst possible outcome in her opinion.
not because she likes anyone in her little friend group, and she might just vomit thinking of those assholes in her group as friends, but at least she could fuck them?? and irina is... hmm. she sizes her up even as mikhail lets her up, finally, because he's a naive idiot but maybe she could still have an opportunity to murder irina once her dumbass dragon isn't looking. ]
... Yeah, sure. Welcome to the dumbass brigade of idiots, you stray. [ ... stares at irina's... halted wounds. hmm. ] You get a pass on not dying today. Probably. I reserve the right to change my mind, all right?
But you sure as hell aren't fucking human so don't get smart with me if you're trying to pull anything. I don't need an excuse not to kill someone.
[being called a non-human does kinda piss her off but explaining the whole mimeosome thing would be such a pain in the ass, and she doubts Zero would even listen to a spiel about it.
the supplies from the wreck, though... ugh, she'll just have to forget about it. she doesn't need Zero (or big dumb dragon) nosing around in their stuff or asking questions.
to Mikhail:] Don't tell me the rest of your friends are as fun as her.
Oh, you might have some fun with them. [ she's practically imagining it now. they're a whole stupid bunch of fucked-up idiots... ] But hell if I care, you can put a few rounds into their heads, it might make them more tolerable. [ death would. she's not even particularly attached to them.
then why hasn't she killed them yet?
good question. she shoves at irina's shoulder with the pommel of her weapon. ]
Anyway, get the hell up. Otherwise I'll ditch you and fly back to camp myself.
[ 'Aw, Zero!' mikhail whines a little and then inclines his head towards irina, still big and doe-eyed. 'Don't worry, I can carry you in my claws if you'd like!' which might be a good way to get accidentally gored by claws, but. maybe he can be careful. maybe. ]
this isn't even about hanahaki anymore but who cares
[ so there is probably only one reason she keeps her teammates around, one reason she would tell people anyway.
and that's because a girl has needs and, like it or not, they're the only dicks available to her because no damn way is she ever making a move on mikhail. mikhail is mikhail. there might as well be a long story behind why she tolerates these assholes and if irina is at all curious she might as well ask and zero might as well shrug and say 'what can i say, i get horny' and yes, that's the truth. one part of the truth.
today they've decimated another border city on the edge of some empire and whoever's not dead will be lying and dying and just awaiting her blade in their stomach. zero leads the way to some bar, because a girl has needs and one of those needs is booze as well. she casually decapitates the barkeeper, cleans the place up or rather murders the rest of the patrons so she can have a place for herself, then kicks her boots up on a table and waves a hand at decadus to fetch her some large bottle of the heavy shit. ]
Oi, blue-blood girl. Come on, let's celebrate and get shitfaced, it's been a while since I've trashed a bar with a decent stock.
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rabbit stew
she hears about the miracle doctor in the foreign bamboo forest and thinks it must be so much bullshit, but her naive stupid dragon insists that it's worth a try and investigation and even after beating him up, he still protests and grabs her and flies her there.
so here she is, in the clinic, waiting to be seen.
and then this rabbit girl walks in and everything seems to slow to a stop, like in those ridiculous slow-motion sequences in the movies, if she knew what a movie was. she's still in the castles era. reisen walks in and zero's first thought is "holy shit" and then her second is "what the fuck are those ears" and her third is "i guess i must be bi" because she's fucked too many guys to know she's gay but she instantly forgets about all those dicks, seeing this rabbit girl walk in looking gorgeous and fuckable.
forget the doctor. ] Hey-- [ she actually has no idea what she's going to try to say, some stupid pick-up line, but she's cut off by a sudden cough. what the hell, she hasn't gotten sick in forever. what's happening to her, she suddenly feels like throwing up. but hurling in front of her new dream girl would be kind of rude, wouldn't it? ]
no subject
they've had all sorts of visitors to Eientei, ranging from perfectly average humans to youkai that barely fit through the doorways. none of them particularly stand out enough to make Reisen wary, but this woman with the flower on her face gives off... some sort of vibes, that make Reisen's ears stiffen and twitch.
bad vibes or no, she still has a job to do. she casually avoids eye contact as she sits down opposite of Zero, pretending to read something on her clipboard even though there's nothing on it. it could be a curse, if she had to haphazardly guess. hell, the flower looks like something Yuuka might inflict on someone. goddamn Yuuka.]
Yes, hello. [without thinking twice, she grabs a nearby trash bin and places it between them.] If you need to vomit, do it in there, please.
[cold......]
no subject
the last one might be less lovesickness and more flower sickness. ]
Y-yeah, I might just... hold on. [ maybe there's no way to do this gracefully, and she's hardly graceful in the first place despite appearances, but anyway.
time to grab the trash can and cough white lunar tears into the bin, spattered with red from thorns cutting into her mouth. throwing up flora in front of the rabbit girl of her dreams. no big deal. ]
no subject
[neat! flowers. she leans forward to get a better look at what's going on, noting that they don't look like any species she's seen around Gensokyo. not Yuuka's doing, then. or... well, she still shouldn't be ruled out as a possibility until Reisen gets details.
the cuts in her mouth can easily be fixed with salves, but regurgitating flowers is a completely unfamiliar ailment. Eirin had told Reisen to take care of this patient, since she's busy with something or other, but they don't have any medicines specific to barfing up plants. maybe a generic medicine for stomach problems could work instead. if the thorns are cutting up her insides as well as her mouth, though... maybe she'll need to call Eirin over.
she glances up at the flower where Zero's other eye should be.]
One a scale of one to ten, ten being the most painful, how would you rate your current discomfort?
no subject
[ she has the vague awareness that making her new love of her life vomit from queasiness probably isn't the right way to go about things, which is actually more consideration than she'd give to male lovers. she may as well vomit right at guys' feet, feel relatively indifferent towards them if they'd do the same to her, and then climb right on top of them afterwards.
but she cared less about guys than she did reisen, so-- ] Anyway. The important thing is-- [ she wipes blood-stained white petals from the corner of her mouth, looking vaguely nauseous still. ] Hey. I'm Zero.
You work here?
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that question though. she gives Zero an incredulous look and slowly nods.]
I would hope so, considering I'll be giving you your medicine at the end of this visit, Miss Zero.
[no introduction from raisin bran, too bad. she peers into the trash bin at the bloody flowers, tentatively poking at one with the back of her pen. just normal flowers, then. seemingly normal? well, can't be normal if Zero's barfing them up.]
Have you ingested anything... unusual, recently? Or can you think of any other possible cause to your condition?
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there may or may not be danger in her going insane, because she might already be there. ]
If I'm contacting another shitty flower disease, that's just my luck. I'm pretty sure I didn't eat anything shady. [ like, uh, rotten meat. but she keeps eye contact with reisen, wetting her lips. ]
But I might just be in the mood for rabbit.
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The rabbits here are under protection, you should know. You can't eat them.
[or her. but hopefully that can go unsaid.]
W-well, as for the flower in your... eye, I could try removing it for you.
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I wasn't talking about eating you. Not in that way, anyway. [ what other way could she possibly mean?? and, on second thought-- ] Probably, depending on how hungry I am...
Why don't we forget about the flower? I don't even think you guys can remove it if you tried. Trust me, I've tried. I didn't even feel like coming here for that, I was just flown in here by a dumbass.
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[Eeeiiirriiiiiin... where is she...!]
If you don't want to be here then you can go!
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Also, I really have no idea what the coughing... flower shit is supposed to be. Honest. That's new.
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[rabbits are friends not food! not to be vored!!]
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[ she wets her lips, 100% innocently, obviously. ] Want me to show you?
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oh......
oh. now she gets it. Reisen's face turns an interesting shade of red though her expression doesn't change much. she looks away.]
Nooo... thank you, that's quite alright. Well! I can just give you a generic prescription and send you on your way.
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What's it gonna be, water?
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[Reisen's already headed for the doorway, motioning to it a bit too impatiently. get ouuuuuut....!!]
This way to the exit, Miss Zero.
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this attack hits harder than the intial one, her body visible struggles with growth in her throat. she claps a hand over her mouth, however, as if determined not to lose any more dignity in front of reisen than she has to.
creeping vines slip out between her fingers however. that's--grosser than the initial attack. ]
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Don't try to hold it all in!
[just barf it out, gurl. even if, yeah, it's pretty gross.]
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that just intensifies the effects of the disease, though. fuck, she's being touched--
she doubles over with a pained noise, clutching at her neck as spiked vines and white flowers grow from her throat out her mouth, spilling out onto the ground--she actually looks a little panicked. can't breathe, with airway restricted by flora. ]
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she recoils as more flowers and vines erupt from Zero's mouth, genuinely taken aback. she's never seen anything like this before. Eirin, maybe, she might know what to do, but she isn't even around at the moment.
wonderful!] W-Wait here!
[aaand she's running away. Reisen ran away?! no, she returns quickly with a dusty plastic bottle, and thrusts it at Zero's hands. it's pesticide.
like, actual pesticide. maybe the plants can be killed like normal plants, then it'll be easy to give Zero an antidote to the poisons before they hurt her system... or something.]
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she does try to drag the trash can back to her, buckles painfully to her knees and doubles over it, grabs a thorned vine from her own throat in an attempt to rip it bodily out because she can't actually breathe. like yanking a spined whip or something from her own mouth, her own bodily--it tears at her mouth and throat, the plant draws out slick with blood but it seems to be narrowing. zero looks like she's struggling not to black out or scream from pain, if screaming would be muffled by flora. ]
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she grabs Zero by the shoulders and firmly pushes her to the floor (it's not gay if it's an emergency shhh). the vine scratches at Reisen's wrists and arms as she moves her hands to grasp Zero's head, holding her still, practically sitting on top of her. she never really incorporates her abilities in the treatment of patients, but Zero's gonna seriously fuck up her insides if she keeps doing that.]
Look. [into her eyes. calm down!! she can't actually get rid of the pain, but she can trick Zero's brain into thinking it doesn't hurt anymore. like a tranq without the hassle of needles.
once Zero stops struggling, Reisen slowly reaches for the bottle.]
robo guro
in a way, that came to their advantage. once it became clear that they were somehow autonomous, that their artificial bodies didn't need any energy source for whatever bizarre bullshit reason, they sent a single ship manned by a small crew to a planet charted somewhere near the edge of the galaxy, one of that appeared very similar to the Earth they once knew. then, of course. something went wrong. the ship crashed. a failure in the wirings, or whatever. all but one of the crew was destroyed in the blast upon impact; they would be mourned, of course, but... Irina can't help but feel thankful that the crew she'd been assigned to lead were recruits she barely knew and felt no real attachment to. if it'd been Gwin, or Elma, or Lin, she would've been better off dying with them.
she drags herself away from the smoldering crater with no means of communication back to HQ on Mira, armed only with her assault rifle and a knife at her hip. looks like she'll be stranded here until they realize something's up and send rescue... shit. there aren't any signs of (sentient) life around, but she follows the sounds of crashing waves to a sandy beach. it really does look remarkably like Earth. hell, maybe she's imagining things, but she thinks she might see what looks like a cityline far out on the horizon across the ocean.
it's been a long, long day. Irina collapses on the sand, tightly gripping her assault rifle.
goddamn, her head hurts.]
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sucks to be them.
she probably wouldn't give a shit about a wreck other than wondering if there's interesting loot to be had by scavenging it, but her dragon is her better half and it's mikhail who's more bleeding heart and flies her over to check it out and look for survivors. depending on who the craft belongs to, she may or may not have to murder the survivor herself, which will be fun. that's the nice thing about her own personal mission. people hardly matter to her, other than whether they should die (most of them) or might be worth a fuck (also most of them, but only because she's... pretty indiscriminate).
mikhail is also the one who spots the lone survivor by the beach, but she doesn't even bother to wait for him to land before she's sliding off his back and landing heavily after a long drop, one that surely should kill a normal person. but, she's zero. she kicks up sand, winces at the impact but sticks the landing, brushes sand off her white dress before boredly drawing her sword in irina's direction. ]
Oi, you.
You came from that wreck? [ indicating vaguely in the direction of the smoking crater with the tip of her sword, before pointing it right back at irina. ]
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just her luck that they speak a common language, but as human as she looks she's clearly not one of their humans. the excitement and wonder of finding another person's gonna have to come later. or never, depending on how this confrontation turns out.]
Maybe I did. What's it to you?
[she winces. her leg is definitely busted, but she can still stand as long as she doesn't make any sudden movements.]
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[ the cute stranger pointing a gun at her... zero doesn't even look wary. on the contrary, her shitty grin just widens, even as she makes no move to put down her sword. queen of hypocrisy. ]
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[the sand beneath her foot slips and Irina stumbles again for a split second before catching herself. goddamnit. it's hard to look like a threat when she's wounded, but at least she has her gun. which... might have actually been damaged in the crash, come to think of it, but Irina hasn't had the chance to test it out yet.
whatever. if worse comes to worst, she still has her knife. Zero's grin definitely has her on edge, and her scowl deepens.]
Tell me what you want and maybe I won't pull the trigger.
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Oh, fuck it.
Actually? There's no good reason for you to be alive after all. [ either this survivor is going to die sooner or later, whether it's by her sword or otherwise, or this survivor is actually an innocent. it hardly matters to zero whether she slaughters someone who doesn't deserve it, now that she thinks of it. so, the important thing is, it's time for irina to die.
she lunges forward without any further warning, sword lashing out in a backhanded slash aiming straight at irina's neck, in an arc that would take her head off. ]
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Fuck—!
[metal clashes against metal and... more metal. she collapses, clutching her hand and the assault rifle fallen next to her. three fingers are missing— also in the sand beside her, one of them a bit further away, sparks flying from the stumps. Irina grits her teeth, fury almost blinding her, but her fucking fingers goddamnit.]
Shit! What's your goddamn problem?!
[there's blood... that isn't quite blood. from the stumps, an almost translucent blue liquid spurts out and drips down her gloves. her mim is just a mim, it can be fixed and parts can be replaced, but not here. the most she could do is temporarily block feedback to her nervous circuits, and close off the wound before she loses too much biocirculatory plasma, but now she's down to one hand until help arrives. if help arrives. if she can survive before help arrives.
Irina grabs her knife from her belt with her unwounded hand. shit, she really might just die here.]
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the woman's reflexes aren't bad, to avoid zero's asshole unannounced, unsporting first strike. obviously it's less gratifying to slice off fingers rather than a nice decapitation, but... blue blood is definitely new. her eye widens, just for a blink, before her serial killer grin returns. ]
My problem? Look at you! What's this, there's something wrong with you after all, isn't there? [ a knife is pretty cute, up against her sword. but she loves to see her prey cornered. ]
Do you bleed different colors depending on where I hit? [ almost experimentally, the blade comes back this time to stab at irina's gut. ]
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her grip on her knife tightens. if she could get one Screamer attack out, she could put Zero to sleep then get away... or kill her while she's out cold.
Irina's never killed a person before. but if she isn't even a person...]
... You're not a human, are you.
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If neither of us are, does that even make a difference? Especially if you're gonna die. [ the little knife up against her sword, and to an extent irina's practicality up against zero's indiscriminate murderousness... it might be a bad match-up. it might be a fatal one.
she's not exactly enough of an asshole to drag out a kill, but that goes more for humans than not, like irina's reasoning. ]
Want to beg prettily for your life before that happens?
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Not really the type to beg. You sound so sure that I'll die, though.
[she isn't bleeding anymore. her arm shifts just slightly to cover the wound in her side, in case Zero notices.]
If you think I traveled across the galaxy just to be killed by some psycho with a sword, think again.
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Come on. We're all gonna die someday. Your day just happens to be today, how lucky for you--! [ and the last word is punctuated by another lunge.
no, she hadn't noticed that irina had stopped bleeding. that kind of healing factor probably should be of interest to her, or maybe it wouldn't be because it hardly matters to her how fast people might recover from bleeding. she'd be far more interested in how quickly it would take for people to start bleeding again, copiously and lethally.
her strike takes her in nice and personal, with a savage stab of her blade straight towards irina's gut, aimed right to the organs that might just hurt the most to humans and anything with close to the same biology. ]
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and catches the blade between her palms, stopping it just short of her gut. her fingers— the ones that haven't been cut off— wrap around the edge, but she doesn't seem to care that the blade is cutting into them.
artificial or no, she can't afford to get disemboweled. there aren't any actual organs in there, just a bunch of manufactured things meant to imitate the inner workings of a real human body, but getting ran through would still be extremely unpleasant.
she glares up at Zero, still holding onto the sword with surprising strength.]
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she twists the handle of her blade, trying to cut straight into irina's hand or at least slice off a good chunk of her palm.
looks or determination might not be enough. ]
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still not much unlike Earth, though. if Zero didn't drop from the sky and immediately tried to murder her, Irina might've thought she was home again.
there's a sickening noise as she loses the better half of her one good hand (goddamnit). with her grip lost, the sword drives through its original intended mark— her gut— and Irina's face screws up in pain. but she doesn't scream. she won't give Zero the satisfaction, even if she's on the brink of death and she can't do anything else with both hands mutilated.
but there is some resistance. nothing squishy and slippery like one would expect to be in a person. it's all synthetic stuff, even metal, and other things that Zero's sword meets when she stabs Irina. there's a distinctly electrical crackle. sparks fly up the blade as plasma begins to leak.]
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It wouldn't even count as murder if I killed you. [ that's the takeaway message here after all. victim now handily--hah--defeated, or close to it, she can plunge her blade straight into irina's side with enthusiasm for novelty. cutting people apart almost becomes a chore, when she's on her hell mission like she is. cutting apart something that bleeds blue and sparks electric is a little more interesting--
and then something huge and white lands right on top of her and irina both, slightly crushing them under white scales.
'Zeroooo, what are you doing? I thought you were going to make friends with the survivor!' ]
Are you fucking kidding me, you thought wrong, you complete idiot--
[ but mikhail dragonblocks her murder. for the moment. ]
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What the fu— [she doesn't get to finish that thought since a dragon landing on her kinda knocks what little air she had from her lungs, and makes her hack up a good deal of plasma. oh, thanks. excellent. now she won't die from being mutilated by a psycho, she'll die from being crushed by a big talking dragon.
don't mind her, she'll just be lying there and bleeding.]
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Hi, I'm Mikhail! What's your name?
Did Zero try to kill you? [ in a petulant 'oh, zero!' tone of voice.
beneath him, Zero punches at his leg. 'Hell fucking yes I did now get the hell off me--' ]
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It's Irina. And I'm human, you goddamn asshole. [she snarls in Zero's direction.] Not that it'd matter to you, I guess.
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[ "Aw, Zero, don't be mean! Maybe she just likes the color blue!" ]
You just shut the hell up and get off of me or I'll stab you--
[ mikhail mostly ignores her, staring down at irina instead, cocking his head curiously.
... and then he licks her blue plasma.
does it taste good??? ]
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almost like blood, but not quite.]
Eugh! What the hell! [licked by big
pissbabydragon... still better than being stabbed, at least.]no subject
Are you fucking kidding me, first of all don't call any of those assholes our 'friends' or I'll puke, second of all I'm gonna puke if you and blue-blood bastard over there don't die immediately right the hell now--
[ mikhail bends his head down towards irina again, cocking his head. 'Don't worry, she says that about everyone! And tries to kill everyone... don't take it personally, okay?' ]
Take it fucking personally--!
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good news, she more or less stopped bleeding already, bad news, her hands are still completely fucked up. she can see her assault rifle not too far away, half-buried in the sand from when Mikhail made his entrance. maybe this is actually a great stroke of luck for her— it's just more time bought until another team is sent to find her.
so if it means playing along with the dragon, okay.]
But sure. I'll join you and your... friends. [is that even the right word??]
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not because she likes anyone in her little friend group, and she might just vomit thinking of those assholes in her group as friends, but at least she could fuck them?? and irina is... hmm. she sizes her up even as mikhail lets her up, finally, because he's a naive idiot but maybe she could still have an opportunity to murder irina once her dumbass dragon isn't looking. ]
... Yeah, sure. Welcome to the dumbass brigade of idiots, you stray. [ ... stares at irina's... halted wounds. hmm. ] You get a pass on not dying today. Probably. I reserve the right to change my mind, all right?
But you sure as hell aren't fucking human so don't get smart with me if you're trying to pull anything. I don't need an excuse not to kill someone.
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[being called a non-human does kinda piss her off but explaining the whole mimeosome thing would be such a pain in the ass, and she doubts Zero would even listen to a spiel about it.
the supplies from the wreck, though... ugh, she'll just have to forget about it. she doesn't need Zero (or big dumb dragon) nosing around in their stuff or asking questions.
to Mikhail:] Don't tell me the rest of your friends are as fun as her.
[one psycho murderer is enough... thanks...]
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Oh, you might have some fun with them. [ she's practically imagining it now. they're a whole stupid bunch of fucked-up idiots... ] But hell if I care, you can put a few rounds into their heads, it might make them more tolerable. [ death would. she's not even particularly attached to them.
then why hasn't she killed them yet?
good question. she shoves at irina's shoulder with the pommel of her weapon. ]
Anyway, get the hell up. Otherwise I'll ditch you and fly back to camp myself.
[ 'Aw, Zero!' mikhail whines a little and then inclines his head towards irina, still big and doe-eyed. 'Don't worry, I can carry you in my claws if you'd like!' which might be a good way to get accidentally gored by claws, but. maybe he can be careful. maybe. ]
this isn't even about hanahaki anymore but who cares
and that's because a girl has needs and, like it or not, they're the only dicks available to her because no damn way is she ever making a move on mikhail. mikhail is mikhail. there might as well be a long story behind why she tolerates these assholes and if irina is at all curious she might as well ask and zero might as well shrug and say 'what can i say, i get horny' and yes, that's the truth. one part of the truth.
today they've decimated another border city on the edge of some empire and whoever's not dead will be lying and dying and just awaiting her blade in their stomach. zero leads the way to some bar, because a girl has needs and one of those needs is booze as well. she casually decapitates the barkeeper, cleans the place up or rather murders the rest of the patrons so she can have a place for herself, then kicks her boots up on a table and waves a hand at decadus to fetch her some large bottle of the heavy shit. ]
Oi, blue-blood girl. Come on, let's celebrate and get shitfaced, it's been a while since I've trashed a bar with a decent stock.
[ anyway, guess what kind of drunk she is. ]